The Greatest Illustration and 'tion'




The greatest illustration
is not mere decoration
but succinct accumulation
of creative demonstration
and ratifying observation
of the intended subjectation
with alarming innovation
and shining punctuation
of all relevant information
done with stoic consideration
for its intended situation
exceeding all expectation
with regard to the examination
of images domination
to that of textual affectation
that commands generation upon generation
to convey without hesitation
their continued exultation
at its supreme imagination
within the realms of communication.
Thus it delights be beyond all anticipation
to relay my admiration
and relentless adoration
at your unbridled determination
towards your education
and after serious meditation
in the height of contemplation
it becomes my acclimation
to give you confirmation
after just deliberation
and close interrogation
of your startling illumination
variation
adaptation
and exemplification
accomplished in the field of illustration.
And so after such examination
it is my proud pronunciation
of your swift galvanization
a first rate qualification
you may receive with due humiliation
despite its floccinaucinihilipilification
(worthless accreditation)
so it becomes my recommendation
without prevarication
for celebration
and recreation
to be your obligation

The Devil’s Dictionary


1. Academy, n. A modern school where football is taught.

2. Achievement, n. The death of endeavor and the birth of disgust.

3. Alone, adj. In bad company.

4. Beauty, n. The power by which a woman charms a lover and terrifies a husband.

5. Behavior, n. Conduct, as determined, not by principle, but by breeding.

6. Brain, n. An apparatus with which we think what we think. That which distinguishes the man who is content to be something from the man who wishes to do something.

7. Cabbage, n. A familiar kitchen-garden vegetable about as large and wise as a man’s head.

8. Cat, n. A soft, indestructible automaton provided by nature to be kicked when things go wrong in the domestic circle.

9. Childhood, n. The period of human life intermediate between the idiocy of infancy and the folly of youth—two removes from the sin of manhood and three from the remorse of age.

10. Circus, n. A place where horses, ponies and elephants are permitted to see men and women and children acting the fool.

11. Congratulation, n. The civility of envy.

12. Dentist, n. A prestidigitator who, putting metal into your mouth, pulls coins out of your pocket.

13. Destiny, n. A tyrant’s authority for crime and a fool’s excuse for failure

14. Edible, n. Good to eat, and wholesome to digest, as a worm to a toad, a toad to a snake, a snake to a pig, a pig to a man, and a man to a worm.

15. Envelope, n. The coffin of a document; the scabbard of a bill; the husk of a remittance; the bed-gown of a love-letter.

16. Famous, adj. Conspicuously miserable.

17. Future, n. That period of time in which our affairs prosper, our friends are true, and our happiness is assured.

18. Habit, n. A shackle for the free

19. History, n. An account mostly false, of events mostly unimportant, which are brought about by rulers mostly knaves, and soldiers mostly fools.

20. Hope, n. Desire and expectation rolled into one.

21. Imagination, n. A warehouse of facts, with poet and liar in joint ownership.

22. Ink, n. A villainous compound…chiefly used to facilitate the infection of idiocy and promote intellectual crime. The properties of ink are peculiar and contradictory: it may be used to make reputations and unmake them; to blacken them and to make them white.

23. Life, n. A spiritual pickle preserving the body from decay.

24. Logic, n. The art of thinking and reasoning in strict accordance with the limitations and incapacities of human misunderstanding.

25. Mad, adj. Affected with a high degree of intellectual independence; not conforming to standards of thought, speech and action…at odds with the majority; in short, unusual. It is noteworthy that persons are pronounced mad by officials destitute of evidence that themselves are sane.

26. Man, n. An animal so lost in rapturous contemplation of what he thinks he is as to overlook what he indubitably ought to be.

27. Money, n. A blessing that is of no advantage to us excepting when we part with it.

28. Noise, n. A stench in the ear. Undomesticated music. The chief product and authenticating sign of civilization.

29. Perseverance, n. A lowly virtue whereby mediocrity achieves an inglorious success.

30. Politeness, n. The most acceptable hypocrisy.

31. Resident, adj. Unable to leave.

32. Road, n. A strip of land along which one may pass from where it is too tiresome to be to where it is too futile to go.

33. Rumor, n. A favorite weapon of the assassins of character.

34. Sauce, n. The one infallible sign of civilization and enlightenment. A people       with no sauces has one thousand vices; a people with one sauce has nine hundred and ninety-nine. For every sauce invented and accepted, a vice is renounced and forgiven.

35. Selfish, adj. Devoid of consideration for the selfishness of others.

36. Telephone, n. An invention of the devil which abrogates some of the advantages of making a disagreeable person keep his distance.

37. Year, n. A period of three hundred and sixty-five disappointments.




Preposition


Prepositions of Time
In, at, on and no preposition with time words:
Prepositions of time - here's a list of the time words that need 'on', 'in', 'at' and some that don't need any preposition. Be careful - many students of English use 'on' with months (it should be 'in'), or put a preposition before 'next' when we don't need one.
at
  • times: at 8pm, at midnight, at 6:30
  • holiday periods: at Christmas, at Easter
  • at night
  • at the weekend
  • at lunchtime, at dinnertime, at breakfast time
on
  • days: on Monday, on my birthday, on Christmas Day
  • days + morning / afternoon / evening / night: on Tuesday morning
  • dates: on the 20th of June
in
  • years: in 1992, in 2006
  • months: in December, in June
  • decades: in the sixties, in the 1790s
  • centuries: in the 19th century
  • seasons: in winter, in summer
  • in the morning, in the afternoon, in the evening
no 
prep
  • next week, year, month etc
  • last night, year etc
  • this morning, month etc
  • every day, night, years etc
  • today, tomorrow, yesterday



Prepositions of Place

Prepositions of place can be difficult - here's some help about using 'at', 'in' and 'on' when you're talking about where things are.
Basics:
If something is contained inside a box or a wide flat area, we use ‘in’:
in the newspaper
in a house
in a cup
in a drawer
in a bottle
in a bag
in bed
in a car
in London
in England
in a book
in a pub
in a field
in the sea
in my stomach
in a river
If something is on a line or a horizontal or vertical surface, we use ‘on’:
on the table
on the wall
on the floor
on the fridge
on my face
on a plate
on the page
on the sofa
on a chair
on a bag
on the river
on a t-shirt
on the ceiling
on a bottle
on a bike
on his foot
If something is at a point, (it could be a building) we use ‘at’:
at the airport
at the door
at the table
at the bus stop
at the cinema
at at the top
at the bottom
at the pub
at the traffic lights
at the front
at the back
at school
at university
at the window
at the hospital
at the piano

  

Adjectives and Prepositions

Adjectives and prepositions. Some adjectives need a preposition before their object.  It doesn't seem to be logical - I'm afraid we just need to learn them!
Here are some of the most common ones:
  • famous for 
    India is famous for its food.
  • proud of
    He is very proud of his student.
  • interested in
    Ammu is very interested in cooking.
  • pleased with
    Ammu is very pleased with her new Badam milk recipe.
  • bad at
    They are very bad at maths.
  • good at
    Ammu is very good at Maths.
  • married to
    Sita has been married to Ram for 20 years.
  • excited about
    I'm very excited about my holiday.
  • different from / to
    Coffee is different from tea.
  • afraid of
    Ammu is afraid of snaks.


Verbs and Prepositions

Some verbs need a preposition before an object or another verb. The preposition is only grammatical, it doesn't change the meaning of the verb.
Here are some of the most common ones:
  • arrive at / in somewhere 
    We arrived at the airport.
     
    We arrived in Chennai.
  • belong to somebody 
    This book belongs to me.
  • borrow something from somebody 
    I borrow a book from my friend.
  • concentrate on something / doing something 
    I concentrated on studying at the weekend.
  • depend on something / somebody 
    It depends on the weather.
  • explain something to somebody 
    The teacher explained the exercise to the students.
  • listen to something / somebody 
    I listen to music.
  • pay somebody for something 
    I pay the waiter for the coffee.
  • wait for somebody / something 
    Wait for me!
  • worry about somebody / something 
           Don’t worry about a thing!

    George Orwell’s Four Motives for Creation


    The Creativity exist in different degrees in every writer, and in any one writer the proportions will vary from time to time, according to the atmosphere in which he is living. They are:
    (i) Sheer egoism. Desire to seem clever, to be talked about, to be remembered after death, to get your own back on the grown-ups who snubbed you in childhood, etc., etc. It is humbug to pretend this is not a motive, and a strong one. Writers share this characteristic with scientists, artists, politicians, lawyers, soldiers, successful businessmen — in short, with the whole top crust of humanity. The great mass of human beings are not acutely selfish. After the age of about thirty they almost abandon the sense of being individuals at all — and live chiefly for others, or are simply smothered under drudgery. But there is also the minority of gifted, willful people who are determined to live their own lives to the end, and writers belong in this class. Serious writers, I should say, are on the whole more vain and self-centered than journalists, though less interested in money.
    (ii) Aesthetic enthusiasm. Perception of beauty in the external world, or, on the other hand, in words and their right arrangement. Pleasure in the impact of one sound on another, in the firmness of good prose or the rhythm of a good story. Desire to share an experience which one feels is valuable and ought not to be missed. The aesthetic motive is very feeble in a lot of writers, but even a pamphleteer or writer of textbooks will have pet words and phrases which appeal to him for non-utilitarian reasons; or he may feel strongly about typography, width of margins, etc. Above the level of a railway guide, no book is quite free from aesthetic considerations.
    (iii) Historical impulse. Desire to see things as they are, to find out true facts and store them up for the use of posterity.
    (iv) Political purpose. — Using the word ‘political’ in the widest possible sense. Desire to push the world in a certain direction, to alter other peoples’ idea of the kind of society that they should strive after. Once again, no book is genuinely free from political bias. The opinion that art should have nothing to do with politics is itself a political attitude.
    It can be seen how these various impulses must war against one another, and how they must fluctuate from person to person and from time to time.

    Source : Why I Write 

    A Love Letter


    A Love Letter from Balzac

    June 1835


    MY BELOVED ANGEL,


    I am nearly mad about you, as much as one can be mad: I cannot bring together two ideas that you do not interpose yourself between them. I can no longer think of nothing but you. In spite of myself, my imagination carries me to you. I grasp you, I kiss you, I caress you, a thousand of the most amorous caresses take possession of me. As for my heart, there you will always be — very much so. 


    I have a delicious sense of you there. But my God, what is to become of me, if you have deprived me of my reason? This is a monomania which, this morning, terrifies me. I rise up every moment say to myself, ‘Come, I am going there!’ Then I sit down again, moved by the sense of my obligations. There is a frightful conflict. This is not a life. I have never before been like that. You have devoured everything. I feel foolish and happy as soon as I let myself think of you. I whirl round in a delicious dream in which in one instant I live a thousand years. What a horrible situation! Overcome with love, feeling love in every pore, living only for love, and seeing oneself consumed by griefs, and caught in a thousand spiders’ threads. O, my darling Eva, you did not know it. 


    I picked up your card. It is there before me, and I talked to you as if you were here. I see you, as I did yesterday, beautiful, astonishingly beautiful. Yesterday, during the whole evening, I said to myself ‘She is mine!’ Ah! The angels are not as happy in Paradise as I was yesterday!

    If Conditional - Worksheet



    TEST YOUR PREPOSITIONS


    TEST YOUR PREPOSITIONS


    1-    Software companies have equipped many games ........ a "panic button" so that the player can hit a single key when the boss approaches and cover the screen ......... rows of business-like figures.
    A) for/for              B) to/onto       C) by/from                                       
    D) with/with                     E) into/through

    2-    In 1997, one person was killed and seven were injured when a gunman, armed ....... a semiautomatic weapon, opened fire ........ the 86th-floor observation deck of the Empire State Building in New York.
          A) with/on                        B) out/from    C) in/to                                            
    D) about/of                      E) by/in

    3-    ....... the latter half of the 20th century, women ....... the world began seeking greater independence and recognition.
          A) With/from                   B) At/along    C) For/within                                    
    D) Since/for                     E) During/around

    4-    It seemed that they were no longer content ....... their traditional roles ....... housewives and mothers.
          A) of/for               B) from/with C) for/to                                           
    D) with/as                        E) by/about

    5-    The inspiration ....... this international movement varied ....... culture to culture.
    A) about/towards             B) for/with    C) behind/from                                
    D) of/out of                      E) along/for

    6-    The traditional view ....... the family structure was that the husband was the partner ....... the earning power.
    A) for/to               B) of/with       C) about/for                                    
    D) along/through            E) by/of

    7-    Today, however, work is less likely to depend ....... physical strength, ....... most men working in offices.
          A) of/since                       B) on/with      C) at/from                                       
    D) for/along                     E) by/to

    8-    Foreign competition has meant that there is less demand for domestic cars, and so our auto workers are now ....... of losing their jobs.
    A) under threat    B) for the sake           C) on behalf                                       
    D) in charge                     E) in touch

    9-    ........ their father's death, the sons divided the land ...... them.
    A) At/within                     B) For/among            C) Upon/between                              
    D) By/through     E) With/along

    10- Earthquake-proof buildings have a very strong framework that is flexible and can bend as the earthquake shakes the building, thus preventing the building from ......... .
    A) setting up                    B) laying down           C) taking off                                       
    D) leaving out      E) breaking apart

    11- The Wilsons finally paid off their mortgage, and they say it is the first time they have been ....... in their adult lives.
    A) in favour                      B) out of debt             C) without warning                           
    D) on average      E) in demand

    12- All tickets for the big concert were sold ....... only an hour after going ....... sale.
    A) out/on              B) up/for        C) down/at                                         
    D) around/by                   E) in/to

    13- In Japan, the use ....... contaminated blood products infected hundreds of people ....... AIDS.
    A) of/with                         B) with/to       C) ih'.f»f                                                
    D) for/from                      E) by/for

    14- Every year thousands of illegal immigrants sneak ....... the United States ....... the Mexican border.



    A) around/from   B) along/at     C) about/for                                       
    D) into/across      E) through/by

    15- Although camels are mentioned in the earliest books of the Bible, in fact, they were not introduced ....... the region ....... about 1100 BC.
    A) of/for               B) at/after      C) for/before                                      
    D) by/since                       E) into/until

    16- The Getty Museum is associated ....... old master paintings acquired ....... record-breaking prices.
    A) of/by                B) about/to     C) with/for                                       
    D) to/in                 E) by/at

    17- I'm afraid we can't afford to buy a dishwasher if the monthly installments exceed $200 — we can pay that amount ......... or we won't have anything to live on.
    A) by far                B) all at once C) on occasions                                 
    D) at the most      E) by no means

    18- In ancient times, teamwork ....... hunters was essential, and they needed to keep their emotions ....... control.
    A) through/in                   B) among/under       C) around/by                                    
    D) within/for                    E) along/to

    19- Ants are the only animals other ........ humans that carry on organised warfare, usually ........ the capture of slaves.
    A) as/through                  B) for/by         C) from/during                               
    D) to/without                   E) than/for

    20- Mario Molina was one of a small group of scientists who discovered the harmful effects ........ certain man-made chemical compounds ....... the Earth's ozone layer.
    A) with/to                         B) by/about    C) from/in                                          
    D) of/on                E) for/by

    21-  With the human population getting bigger and bigger ....... the Earth, we are pumping more and more carbon dioxide ....... the atmosphere.
    A) on/Into                        B) for/about   C) by/of
    D) in/around                    E) around/with

    22- For centuries there was a conflict ....... science and religion, with religion trying to suppress the discoveries ....... science.
    A) among/from   B) about/for   C) with/to                                        
    D) between/of      E) around/in
    23- Today, however, most religions agree ....... the fact that the Earth is round and that it goes ....... the Sun.
    A) by/through      B) of/along     C) with/towards                              
    D) on/around                   E) for/about
    24- One of the greatest benefits of glass is that it lets in light, but.......... provides protection from the weather.
    A) under the impression             B) at the same time
    C) for the time being                     D) out of the question
    E) in the circumstances

    25- People ....... the influence of hypnosis can say or do things ....... which they may later; be embarrassed.
    A) under/about    B) with/from  C) from/for
    D) upon/with                   E) for/through

    26- ......... the morning rush hour on March 25, 1995, twelve people were killed and ore than 5,500 injured after the deadly nerve gas sarin was released ......... the Toyko subway system.
    A) In/between     B) By/within   C) For/from                                       
    D) During/into     E) While/through

    27- The police arrested members of the Aum Shinrikyo religious sect and their blind leader, Shoko Asahara, ......... connection ......... the attack.
    A) for/by               B) with/of       C) in/with
    D) from/to                        E) to/about

    28- Gymnastics was one ....... nine sports included ....... the first modern Olympics of 1896.
    A) from/by                       B) with/to       C) of/in                                            
    D) in/within                     E) to/among

    29- In the game of football, the object is to score goals ....... kicking or heading the ball........ the goal.
    A) by/into                         B) with/through         C) for/of                                             
    D) for/with                       E) on/towards

    30- Only the goalkeeper may touch the ball....... his hands, and the game is divided ....... two halves of 45 minutes each.
    A) for/of               B) with/into    C) on/for                                            
    D) by/with                        E) in/to

    31- I completely forgot....... the homework our teacher assigned us ....... tomorrow.
    A) at/from                        B) from/in      C) for/by                                          
    D) with/over                    E) about/for

    32- I was offended because yesterday you walked right ....... me ....... saying "hello".
    A) through/over B) beside/by   C) past/without                                
    D) around/for                  E) about/from

    33- My uncle converted to Islam ....... the age of forty and remained devoted to his  religion ....... the end of his life.
    A) by/with                        B) at/until      C) towards/in                                   
    D) since/for                      E) throughout/at

    34- ....... the day ....... the election, opinion polls showed the two parties running neck and neck.
    A) In/after                        B) Since/with             C) For/from                                     
    D) Until/about     E) On/before

    35- Even ....... times of war, there are internationally recognised limits ....... violence.
    A) through/at                   B) by/on                     C) at/with                                        
    D) in/to                 E) for/by
    36- People who go ....... these limits are tried ....... "war criminals" when caught.
    A) beyond/as                   B) with/by      C) for/to                                           
    D) along/for                     E) off/with

    37- Having never done anything very interesting or exciting in his life, Richard got married and settled ....... in his home town ....... his high-school sweetheart.
    A) down/with                   B) up/to                      C) into/for                                        
    D) along/by                      E) about/from

    38- Everyone regarded him ....... a pillar ....... society, an ideal husband and father.
    A) for/to               B) with/for     C) by/in                                              
    D) about/at                      E) as/of

    39- Then one day, he left his wife and family ....... a new life, and they never heard ....... him again.
    A) to/of                 B) for/from    C) into/by
    D) at/out of                      E) with/about

    40- No one ever discovered what became ....... him, but there were rumours that he eventually settled in southern California ....... a group of poets and artists.
    A) to/with                         B) for/around            C) of/among                                        
    D) to/within                     E) at/along

    41- ....... World War II, the United States fought ....... Japan, but since that time they have been close allies.
    A) Upon/for                      B) With/along            C) During/against                            
    D) In/about                      E) On/through

    42- We knew that the only way to reach safety was to get....... the bridge and ....... friendly territory.
    A) around/about B) across/from          C) above/for                                       
    D) out/off                         E) over/into

    43- Countries which depend ....... an annual monsoon for their crops are ....... the mercy of nature's whims.
    A) for/with                       B) by/to                      C) upon/at                                         
    D) with/in                         E) in/to

    44- Charles Dickens' novels mostly dealt....... the problems encountered by ordinary people ....... his own day.
    A) with/in                         B) for/until     C) of/by                                              
    D) to/during                     E) about/on

    45- Black Beauty, written by Anna Sewell ........ a protest in 1877, when there was much cruelty ........ horses, is a sentimental story still enjoyed by young readers.
    A) under/in                      B) as/to                      C) around/for                                    
    D) over/with                    E) of/against

    46- Even if you can't....... anyone else, you should always be able to trust your mother.
    A) pick up                         B) put out       C) hand in                                              
    D) drop off                        E) count on

    47- Sales of the new book have really ........ and soon it should be on the best-seller list.
    A) flooded in                    B) settled in   C) tried on                                          
    D) worked out      E) taken off

    48- Refrigeration is used most often to keep foods or medicines ....... spoiling, since bacterial growth is slowed ....... lower temperatures.
    A) out of/on                     B) with/below            C) for/around                                    
    D) from/at                        E) about/above

    49- The guide ....... the sights to us as we drove through town.
    A) left for              B) came across          C) pointed out                                   
    D) stood up                      E) looked after

    50- Everyone was shocked when Julie's ex-boyfriend ....... at her wedding.
    A) turned up                    B) carried out             C) broke into                                      
    D) got down                     E) called off

    51- The students were all surprised when the teacher asked for their homework because they were ....... that she hadn't assigned anything the day before.
    A) in the habit      B) under the impression  C) for a change                                  
    D) by no means   E) out of the question

    52- A team of embryologists in Scotland stirred controversy ....... the world when they introduced an eight-month-old sheep named Dolly, who had been cloned ....... the genetic material of an adult sheep.
    A) into/for                        B) about/with             C) around/from                                
    D) within/without            E) over/through

    53- Susan has to learn to keep ........ her budget if she wants to stay ........ debt.
    A) in/with                         B) around/in to          C) into/away                                      
    D) within/out of   E) with/from

    54- Of all the electrical products on the market today, ....... the best are the ones which come from Japan.
    A) for once                       B) by far                      C) at random                                    
    D) all at once                    E) at least

    55- Families often quarrel ....... how much influence grandparents should have ....... raising their grandchildren.
    A) through/in                   B) by/about    C) with/for                                         
    D) to/with                         E) about/over

    56- Andrew Wyeth's picture ........ a Pennsylvania boy riding his new bicycle, titled 'Young America', is painted with a high degree of precision and attention ....... detail.
    A) for/on              B) with/for     C) in/with                                           
    D) of/to                 E) from/in

    57- The Philippines lies ........ about and 20° Northern latitude, entirely ....... the humid tropics.
    A) on/towards      B) out of/into             C) in/among                                    
    D) between/within          E) at/through

    58- Because the islands are all located ....... the equator, warm temperatures prevail ....... the year.
    A) near/throughout         B) over/in       C) under/about                               
    D) around/towards         E) with/across

    59- Some people believe that students should be protected ....... harmful ideas until they are old enough to tell right ....... wrong.
    A) about/to                       B) for/through           C) of/about                                        
    D) from/from                   E) by/between
    60- A Labrador retriever is a muscular breed of sporting dog known ....... its dependability ........ a guide dog for the blind.
    A) with/upon                    B) for/as                     C) about/on                                       
    D) from/to                        E) as/about




    TEST
    YOUR
    PREPOSITIONS


    1. D

    2. A

    3. E

    4.D

    5.C
    6. B

    7. B

    8. A

    9. C

    10. E

    11. B

    12. A

    13. A

    14.D

    15.E

    16. C

    17. D

    18. B

    19. E

    20. D

    21. A

    22. D

    23. D

    24.B

    25.A

    26. D

    27. C

    28. C

    29. A

    30. B

    31. E

    32. C

    33. B

    34.E

    35.D

    36. A

    37. A

    38. E

    39. B

    40. C

    41. C

    42. E

    43. C

    44.A

    45.B

    46. E

    47. E

    48. D

    49. C

    50. A

    51. B

    52. C

    53. D

    54.B

    55.E
    56. D

    57. D

    58. A

    59. D

    60. B